it seems that always on the day that i leave, something will always have to spoil my mood. i always have to find out something that will bring my whole world crashing down. but yet, i still have to pretend like its not gonna affect me, that everything is perfectly fine, put that fucking smile on my face, and show up for flight, like its the most normal thing in the world. but inside, i want to find someone to kill, to vent my anger on, to take out all my misery and pain on. so many times, i have closed both eyes, i have pretended that nothing happened, i have moved on and given you the benefit of the doubt, no matter how ridiculously stupid the excuse sounds, and any other normal sane human being would know that you're lying. but yet i have always tried to believe you. i would block out all images, all knowledge of anything, pretend that that certain few moments didn't happen, and close that chapter. but you can't take advantage of it. you can't take it for granted that i'm always going to act like a stupid fool. you can only stretch my love that far. i have given you everything, i have done everything you ever asked, i have made all the sacrifices for you, what more do you ask for? isn't it enough? when will all the lying stop?