sometimes you just can't help but feel that people take things for granted so easily.

but i guess that's just a random thought.

as time goes by... sometimes you choose to forget things, block out certain things, but they always come back to haunt you. you pretend its not there, you pretend it never happened. you move on, but actually, its all just a pretence. a single tear falls, and you struggle to control yourself, to push away all the emotions that threaten to break you. things that you'll never forgive yourself for. you tell yourself its okay, what's in the past, is in the past. but somehow... everything leaves a scar. flashes, those memories, sometimes you feel yourself falling back into all the agony, all the pain, and then you compose yourself, you push all those thoughts away. and then you smile, and you pretend its alright.

i guess i'm selfish, but aren't we all. you plan your life around one person, and then you hope that that person will do the same. but not everyone is the same, and not everyone expresses themselves in the same way. everyone has their own way of saying 'i care', saying 'i love you'. and sometimes, it may not come out right, but the feeling is there. sometimes you wish the other person would understand, would show he cares, would express his affections... but sometimes you can't wish for more. when you love someone, you love them for who they are, regardless of their imperfections, regardless of their habits, their strengths, their weaknesses. you'll do anything for that person, and all you ask in return, is maybe a simple 'thank you', or a hug, a kiss, maybe just a 'i love you'. is it possible to love someone selflessly? to completely give everything and not expect anything in return?

what do you do when you just want someone to understand what you're feeling... that you're not complaining, you're not expecting, you're not demanding, but you simply just want him to understand, to show that he cares and to just make you feel better. perhaps a few simple words will do. you're not really asking or expecting much... maybe you just want to hear those 3 words that always seem to make things right... maybe all it takes is for him to explain it all in a loving, caring way. not much action required.

what do you do when you feel so worthless, when you just wish you were god and you could fix everything.

what do you do when you cry and you're all alone and no one understands? when you try so hard to make someone understand, only for the opposite to happen and tempers fly. what do you do when the tears fall and all you wish for is a hug and for someone to tell you everything's alright, but all you get is the opposite - frustration.. anger..

what do you do when the only person who can stop the tears is the very person who started them?

sometimes you wish you could go back in time, change things, handle things differently, make things better. but everything has its lessons to learn, price to pay. every mistake has its consequence, something you can never run away from.

sometimes all you want is a sorry. or maybe just a nice surprise.

i wish you could make everything alright.

okay. i have no idea what i'm talking about. ignore me. these are all just random thoughts related to nothing in particular.