i forgot what it was like to cry.
i forgot what it was like to feel my heart ache.
i forgot what it was like to be woken up at 4am in the morning by your calls.
i forgot what it was like to hear your voice no matter how tired i was.
or at least i thought i had forgotten.
until this morning.
for barely half an hour, i let myself hear the things i thought i would never hear again. i let myself cry again. i let myself think about the past again. and it all just came back. the things i've forced myself to cut off for the past 1 month and 15 days.
the words, the memories, the pain.
you said you missed the way i said i love you.
you said you missed hugging me.
you said you wanted to see me.
you said you missed me. you still love me.
you realise you need me. you still want me to a part of your life.
that you didn't want to be with anyone else.
that no other girl understood you and knew you like i did.
that i complete you.
it hurt because every sentence you said just tore my heart.
those tears fell because as much as i wanted to believe you, i knew i could not.
for those few moments, i closed my eyes and then it felt like it was just yesterday that we were happy. together.
and then those painful memories just come back.
finding out those things on that very final day. spending the whole day in the office just crying. just hurting.
the days after just trying to let go. just trying to forget.
just trying to stop loving you.
trying. just trying.
and i still am.
cause you're fragile
and i'm weak
these photos were from an entry i wanted to post a long time ago but never did.
Little one's broken lying on the ground
Trying to get up 'till his last breath out
Wings are strewn everywhere, there's blood all around
'Cause even angels die, but that light just fades
It's so sad, but he'd be so proud
Broken angel, you've got to learn to fly
Get up and earn your wings tonight
Broken angel, just look in my eyes
Get up and earn your wings tonight
