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tingshan © <33
Monday, October 02, 2006
10:29 am

history never fails to repeat itself. a liar will always be a liar.

you had your chance. i gave you one last chance. and what did you do. you lied to me again. its like practically slapping me in the face.

you begged me to stay. you begged me not to leave you. you said leaving you was the worst thing i could do to you. you said you only loved me. and very foolishly, i stayed.

only to find out, just barely 2 hours later, that you were with HER.

i've never felt so stupid in my whole life.

and you know what the best part is? that you're still saying sorry, and still begging me to stay. and that you love me. and all the things i've heard a thousand times before. and that you're asking me to start afresh and forget what just happened. what do you take me for? your play toy? your backup plan? an object? for your info, i am a human being, a person with feelings, a person who was supposed to be your girlfriend. your girlfriend who never received any acknowledgement as your gf to your friends, who was hidden in the closet, who was your personal assistant/secretary/slave/servant, etc.

you could fucking go to the airport and fetch her and you fucking lied to me about it and you couldn't fucking fetch me to work.

i regret not slapping you and walking out this morning. that's what i should have done. instead of staying.

last night. i catch you lying to me about her. again. and you say its nothing. again. you ask for one last chance. to change. again. and i give it to you. again. and what do you do to me in return? you fucking go to the airport and fucking fetch her and fucking go god knows where and do god knows what. and you dun answer my calls or reply my msgs. and now. what do you say. you say. give me one last chance. im sorry. don't leave me. please stay. AGAIN. the same words i heard earlier this morning.

i will never believe you again. never. you tell me that there's nothing going on between you and her, that you're just playing with her, amusing yourself with her. and that you only love me. you say you've ended it already. bullshit justin. bullshit. you never did. you just hid it from me more and pretended that it ended. but you just carried on, living this lie with me. telling me you love me. saying that you want to bring me to venice next year and propose to me. you say you booked the tickets, applied for leave. so what were you planning on doing? having your fun with her till that time comes then come back to me? fuck you justin. fuck you. i hate you.

don't say leaving you is the worst thing i could do to you. look at all the things you've done to me. you left me justin. i didn't leave you. the day you chose to have feelings for jeslyn was the day you chose to leave me. and i will never forgive you for it. i will never forgive you for all the pain you put me through. i will never forgive you for everything that you made me do for you. never. and i swear i will make you pay for it.

goodbye.



;i am afraid