wo de xin zhen de shou shang le

numb. just so numb.

my eyes hurt. i'm so tired.

but this feeling inside. its just breaking me down.

a thousand and one questions, so many things to say. so many things to ask. so many why's.

the anger. the pain. the anguish.

one year ago, on this very day. i was discharged from CGH. the very pain that drove me to take those paracetamols. that pain is nothing compared to the pain i am feeling now. the heartache. the longing.

i just want to forget everything.

forget i ever loved you.

forget the things i did for you, the sacrifices i made. all the things i gave up for you. the only way you could ever make it up to me would be to give me back everything i've done for you, give me back all the sacrifices i made, give me back the past 10 months of my life.

even at this very moment, you still can't tell me the truth. is every word that comes out from your mouth just a lie?

i don't know how to pick myself up again. to tell myself that i'll survive.

it hurts. so much. it really does. i just want to cry my heart out.

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me