thank you.

for showing me how much you truly love me.

i am sick.
my whole body is aching.
im having a headache.
every move is make is excruciating.
i'm having a fever.
but do you care.
NO.

instead. you give me your bullshit. again.

you disappear the whole fucking goddamn day. again.

i wait the whole fucking goddamn day for your call. i didn't dare to go shower because i was afraid you would call while i was in the shower.

and finally. at 2 fucking AM. i decided forget it i am going to shower. and i guess what. i come out of the shower to 8 miss calls and 5 messages. and what do they say? oh the normal bullshit crap. all sorts of vulgarities and things like dont you regret it and fuck off and stuff like that.

all because i didnt answer the phone for a few minutes.

but, when you don't answer your phone for a few MINUTES, AND A FEW HOURS, AND THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY, its perfectly fine. and i have no right to blow my top at you right.

just because you are out doing god knows what and lying to me about it, doesn't mean i am doing the same. don't let your guilty conscience take it out on me. because i'm not like you.

i guess all the promises and the things you said, just yesterday, was just like every other fucking lie you've told me.

just yesterday i said that you get pissed when i don't answer the phone for a few minutes. and you went no no i don't. and look what you're doing now.

thank you.

for making me cry again.
for making me feel this way again.
it hurts to know, that someone who claims to love you, can do this to you.

god i am so tired. like the fever isn't enough. i just want to crash and die really.

i suppose. i love you too much right.

why won't the tears stop.

i guess i should have expected it. just like every other fucking time.

btw, thanks for not answering my calls or replying my messages. and hanging up on my calls.