to those people who are sick of reading entries with me complaining and whining, then don't read my blog. kthxbye.

so tired. so so so tired.

its like this rollercoaster ride. just up and down. all the time.

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster

i don't know if there'll be an end, or where this is headed. there was a time when i knew, but now i don't anymore. i wish i knew. because its getting tiring. after awhile, everything is just a blur. and you go through the same thing everyday.

i'm just fighting with myself. i don't know which side is winning.

if only i could turn back time.

anywhere but here and now.

i can't believe i actually thought that this time would be any different. considering all the times you made promises which you broke over and over and over again. i can't believe i actually believed you when you said that this time is different and that you promise. i am but a fool.

i hate myself for believing you, and i hate you for making me believe you, only to break my heart again.

and after awhile, no amount of smoking, drinking or even cutting can take away the pain.

i hate you.