i hate myself for loving you
can't break free from the things that you do
i wanna walk but i run back to you
thats why i hate myself for loving you

oh, its just a song now, don't worry. a wonderful one though, by joan jett. me and andrea sang it out loud during mambo. real loud.

4a.m. christmas eve. oh whoopee. i'm like sooooooo excited.

i play Run by Snow Patrol on my iTunes everyday. nice and depressing.

fuck the holidays. fuck you. fuck everything.

why do i let things get to me? because i do. its just me. so too bad.

i love you ctbah, my darling ctbahhh. we tell each other the same shit advice all the time, but we both never follow it anyway. and every night we wonder the same things and every morning we wake up and we think the same things, but at night its just the same once again.

oh and if only things were so easy.

why can't everything just be wonderful, everyone just happy and things oh so perfect? but that only happens in fairytales, the same fairytales we dream about, things we wish would just come true.

you know, maybe its just me, maybe its all just my fault. i should just be happy, and pretend there's nothing wrong.

maybe that way, i'll feel better.

but deep down inside, i'll know its all just a lie.

shouldn't dream for so much ayes.

i'm just gonna stay home and ignore everyone.

oh the things that we do. the things we do for love.