haven't been blogging, haven't had anything to say.

things haven't been exactly fantastic lately.

the holidays just seem like. a bore. i don't know. i don't feel like doing anything, going anywhere. very unlike the previous holidays when i was out everyday in town.

the only thing i actually really got down to doing was going to the dentist. i've been wanting to go since like ages ago, but i only finally got down to going now because lately my gums will bleed when i brush my teeth. also, the gum at the back seems flabby. i was guessing that my wisdom tooth was coming out, and the dentist confirmed it. don't need to do anything for now though. he did some cleaning and polishing. and like omg, my gums have never bled so much in my whole entire life. was the secondary school dentist being gentle everytime i saw her? i used to enjoy going to the dentist. i found it so much fun. hurhur. but now, this guy, omg, i was just sitting there, screaming in my head from the pain.

yes, as everyone knows, results were out not too long ago. i would just like to say that i really only have myself to blame. i always get complacent when it comes to exams. i do well for coursework, tests, projects, blahblah, and then when it comes to exams, i think i'm so smart and then i get lazy. and then i only study the day before, fuck up the paper because of poor time management, get average results, and then wish i studied earlier, managed my time better, and i would have nailed that A. like. crim pro. coursework i got B+. was hoping to push it up to an A or at least maintain that grade. unfortunately, i didn't even manage to maintain that grade. thank gawd the rest of my assessments for lcom pulled up my client interview grade. lcom is my highest. B+. sadly. once again, i have managed to lower my GPA. which is now very far away from my sem1 year1 3.52. three semesters left before graduation. and i'm wondering what the fuck i'm doing here anyway. getting that law degree seems like a far far away dream. NUS? dream on. my only hope, is going overseas.

sometimes i wonder why i chose to go poly when i could have gone to jc instead. done my 'A's. gone uni. right now, i would be mugging with fifi for 'A's. it would be like mg days. if i had gone to acjc. FIFI I MISS YOU! but its too late to turn back now. have you ever heard of anyone dropping out of poly to go jc? its usually the other way around instead right.

so now i wonder. what the fuck am i gonna do after i get a Diploma in Law & Management. of course i would want a law degree, be called to the bar, be a corporate lawyer most probably, i don't see myself doing crim law. but right now, i just have this feeling that i'll end up somewhere else.

we're moving house soon. nice small little condo. my brother isn't coming with us. and once again, the family is spilt up another way. i really don't think its a good idea for my brother to stay somewhere else. but. thats what he wants. my mother happily remarried in san francisco, my brother going to stay in the flat that she bought here, and my sister, my dad and i in the condo. cute isn't it. i really don't care anymore, spend most of my childhood fighting for my mother, ruining my relationship with my dad, only to find out half the things she said was a lie. her leaving us for san fran, just proved a point.

each day passes, and i feel myself slipping away. losing all motivation, all drive to do anything worth my time.

bella luna.