i am in an extremely pissed off mood right now. don't bother trying to talk to me, because i'll just scream at you.

i am simply releasing all my pent up emotion. anger. and whatever you want to call it. because i don't feel like tolerating all this shit anymore. i've been so pissed off, so ticked off, so frustrated for like the past few days, or week, or weeks, or whatever. and now i'm simply letting go. as they say, its no good to keep everything bottled up inside.

so sick of everything.

sometimes it so hard to find someone you can really trust, someone you can depend on, someone you can really call a true sincere dear friend.

and just when you think you do, YOU GET LET DOWN, YOU GET DISAPPOINTED, and you think, was it that superficial? and you think, you mean our friendship really means nothing? and you really wonder, is that what you really think of the friendship we had? that you can just throw it away like that? well i suppose so. seriously. like telling me one thing, but later doing another? saying something, but doing something else? hypocritical superficial bastard. so pretentious.

mr kermit. i seriously thought. well. who cares what i thought, because i guess i was so fucking wrong wasn't i. gawd you're such a liar, because you can say so many things, but in the end, still end up doing something else. i don't know if to be disappointed, or to just blame myself, or to blame someone else or what. but really. i don't believe you. i really don't. i don't understand either. i never will. you know me so well that you can ask what's wrong, that its not like me to hide things from you, you can tell me that you care, that you'll be there, you can tell me when i went hospital to think about people who care for me, my parents, friends and you, and you can tell me what you really think, what you really feel, but yet, what you do tells another story. you can say you don't like this, you don't like that, but yet, at the end of the day, its so fucking superficial. how you can so easily change your mind about something, how you can so easily throw everything away, well. i'll never know why. if you don't care, then honestly why should i. because i honestly still can't believe how things can just become like that.

oh well. i suppose I ONLY HAVE MYSELF TO BLAME RIGHT?

you all are worse than a bunch of secondary school girls who bitch and backstab each other, just to be popular. and i thought only girls do these kinda things.

oh well. its not just that that's pissing me off. there are alot of other stuff too.

like for example.

what's with pangsehing? REALLY. sickening.

imagine you cancel plans for something else, and you get pangsehed. or you don't make any plans because you thought you were meeting someone, and then you get pangsehed, and then you end up with no plans and nothing to do. imagine you wait the whole day for someone, and then you get pangsehed. imagine you travel here, travel there, and then you get pangsehed. IMAGINE. really. go ahead and imagine. imagine all the time wasted, the energy wasted, the money wasted, or whatever else. just imagine. isn't is just so sickening?

now imagine that happening not like, once a month, or once a year, or once fornightly. imagine that happening like, once every two three days? IMAGINE.

oh but wait, I SUPPOSE I ONLY HAVE MYSELF TO BLAME RIGHT?

so by right, i have absolutely no reasons whatsoever to be pissed or angry or upset or disappointed or frustrated these few days or whatever right? because i only have myself to blame. so let's just ignore everything i've said so far, and pretend i'm all happy and bright and cheerful and so so SO SO SO SO HAPPY.

fuck you.