the year as we know it to be is coming to an end. 2005. but it doesn't feel any different.

these past few days or so have been a jumble. as i try to figure out what i'm doing, everything seems like such a big mess. if only things could be simpler. and life so much easier. but that's not what we're here for right.

fly me to the moon

i miss my aunt. if only. she was still alive. she would be here. to take care of things. and help us deal with all the problem that so called father is causing. i miss her laughter. her bluntness. how she would tell you the truth as she sees it, not afraid of offending you, because she always had good intentions and she did it out of love. if anyone could ever come close to being perfect, i think she would have been the one. she had a way of putting clothes and and other quirky items which would look strange on others, but on her, she just managed to pull everything off so perfectly. she had funky belts and chunky rings, flashy bags. but nothing ever seemed out of place. she was always smiling, even in those days of chemotherapy. three other people shared the same birthdate as her, her good friend from bible college, pastor joseph, and his daughter, and my aunt's best friend, aunty caroline. she loved shopping, she and aunty caroline travelled all over on shopping sprees, even Paris. it was amazing. but she never forgot to get something for me and my sister. but yet, she was always so strong in her faith, always so strong in her love for God. never wavering. never. she put her trust in Him, and i know for sure that she's in Heaven now. free of all that pain and agony. I wish i spent more time with her, learning from her, listening to her experiences, but i didn't. and i regret that. even those days when she was really sick, i was always too busy to visit her. and i regret it so much. her friends knew her so much better than we did. she was always concerned about what i was doing, always talking to me about what was right and wrong, but she never scolded or shouted, she spoke to you with love and concern. she never had any evil intention. never. she was beautiful inside and outside. even though she was single, i'm sure she was happy.

aunty jenny, everything's so quiet, now that you're not here with us anymore. I hope one day we'll get to see each other again.

unforgettable

everything at home is so messy, i hope my brother will be alright. God, will you send him someone to take care of him? to be his best friend? to help him go through this tough time, when he feels so angry at his dad?

after all that we've been through, i still love you. of course i get pissed and jealous and stuff at times, but still. that's cause i love you so much and everything. sometimes you think before you act, and sometimes i get angry over stupid things. but we'll always be together right?

it had to be you

thanks for taking care of me. and being with me. and loving me. and being by my side always. and letting me throw my tantrums.

pyschology group project proposal due next week.

clara-ann khoo! that's like the first time i bump into you like for like sooo long! the last time i saw you. was like. when we collected 'o's results. bitch, where you've been? and what happened to our coffee outing?

ticktockticktock. what you waiting for?

ooh. class outing. gathering. 4th jan. funky shite.

will you still love me tomorrow